Monarch Butterflies

For Andrew's birthday my in-laws gave us a family pass to the Fort Worth Science and History museum.  So fun!  Last Saturday night we went for a quick tour and saw the IMAX film Butterflies.  Wow!

The migration patterns of the monarch butterfly are amazing.  Not just because it is a long and specific journey but because it takes a year and 4 generations to complete.  The first 3 generations live only 2-6 weeks but the last generation will live for up to 8 months!  The butterflies born just before autumn are super butterflies and will travel from Canada to Mexico and hibernate in the same trees as their great-grandparents!  After the winter, they will head to Texas and the cycle starts again.

I always thought I would be an early generation butterfly.  Enjoy a little milkweed, build a cocoon, turn into a beautiful butterfly, enjoy a short but nice trip from the Texas hill country to somewhere in Oklahoma, mate, lay several hundred eggs and then die.  I NEVER imagined I would be a 4th generation super monarch butterfly.

I wanted my life to fit in a perfect box.  Graduate from college, land a job, get married to an amazing hardworking man, have a small house in the suburbs, then a baby boy, next upgrade to a bigger house, have a sweet baby girl, leave my job of 10 years to be a stay at home mom and finally have a 3rd perfect child.  A blend-in with the crowd family who loved the Lord, volunteered at school and had Friday pizza and movie night.

But this last year my "plans" came to a SCREECHING halt.  My family is still amazing but it doesn't fit in a box.  I feel like "that" Mom.  The one who started a blog.  The one who lost her son.  The one others say has incredible strength, faith and courage. 

I wanted a simple journey through life but lately I don't feel like God had the same plan.  I have this strange feeling that I am destined for more.  To struggle to make a LONG journey from Canada to Mexico.  To learn to use all my reserve energy to fly higher and longer than the 3 generations before me.  To have a more difficult, less predictable but purposeful life.

I can't say that I know what my journey will look like but I hope and pray it won't fit in a box.  That He will use me in ways I can't imagine.  That we will become a loving family for those who don't know His love.  That I will be the hands and feet of Christ and teach my children to do the same.

I wanted the early generation life but I am adapting to the path of the 4th generation.  Please don't misunderstand.  I don't think I am "better" than the first three generations and I would gladly trade it all for the simple TX to OK path.  But, I pray He will teach me to use and appreciate the Canada to Mexico path.

Lord, help me to trust in Your ways.  To sift through the ashes and dance among the ruins. To see the signs of Spring and let beauty rise.  This is my hope and Your promise. Amen.



Steven Curtis Chapman - Beauty Will Rise - Lyrics