It has been one month since we met and said goodbye to Charlie. I have dreaded this day for a while now. I wish I was putting that cute one month sticker on his white onesie and posting it to Facebook or even that I might be in the NICU by his side as he was about to have heart surgery. Instead I will place flowers on his grave.
I have mixed feelings about visiting the cemetary. It is a place to reflect and remember yet I don't want to envision him in that tiny casket. I know that only the shell of his sweet broken body is buried there.
Andrew rarely talks about Charlie but this morning on the way to school he said, "Mom, if Charlie would have lived I would have given him ALL my stuffed animals." The only words I could muster were "Me too buddy. Me too."
Lord be with us all today. Stay close to Andrew at school. Watch over Jared as he takes down Christmas lights. Be near me and Mckinley as we travel to cemetary. In your name.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18
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