The "Mom" of the NICU

Today we had an appointment with the neonatologist.  I wasn't aware of this appointment until my new OB's office called last week to say they had scheduled it.  The mother of one of my closest friends told me earlier in the week to get an appointment with this neonatologist, Dr. Weinman.  She said she was the "Mom" of the NICU :) So as much as I dreaded meeting a new doctor it seemed like if two people had encouraged an appointment with her then it was a good idea.

She met us at the elevator and we went to the parent consultation room.  A few bottles of water and a big box of tissues were on the table in front of us :)

She started having us recap in our own words what we understood (although it was clear she was completely up to date on our situation.)  Shortly into our conversation she asked if we had named the baby, afterwards she always referred to her as Charlotte.  She was the very first doctor/nurse to do so.  A wide range of topics were discussed.  We went through what would happen if she is stillborn or passes shortly after birth.  I will spare you the details because I believe this is only information you need to hear if you are facing these possibilities.  Just understand that knowing there are teams of people to support us was comforting.

Next we discussed what to expect if she survives and is being cared for in the NICU.  She made sure we understood that we were in charge of the decisions for Charlotte's care.  The neonatologist team will be the ones making sure this happens while overseeing all the specialists that will be around Charlotte.  She requested only one decision be made today.  When Charlotte is born, if she is struggling to breathe, will we allow her to be put on a ventilator or CPAP in order to assist her until we can determine the strength of her lungs, kidneys etc.?  Jared and I both agreed we should give her a chance until we know as much as possible about her condition once she is born.  They even gave us a notecard to give to the hospital to make sure they know we have a plan on file.  They call it the Wee Care program :)  She spoke a lot about Andrew and Mckinley.  Dr. Weinman explained how they will make sure to include especially Andrew in meeting and holding his new sister.  And how if Charlotte doesn't survive they have many free resources to help children grieve and cope.  It seemed like this was very encouraging to Jared who lost his Mother when he was 5 and still has very vivid memories of her death.

We took a tour of Labor and Delivery and the NICU.  We saw precious babies being carried for by loving nurses.  I would have expected that seeing a 2.5 lb baby on a ventilator would be upsetting but truthfully I saw a beautiful precious miracle. It was a comfort knowing we were in the right place with the right people to care for our daughter.

Even though much of the content of this dreaded meeting was beyond upsetting and I am completely drained, it was delivered in a kind and personal way which made it, in a very strange way, a blessing.

I don't have any inspiring bible verses or words of wisdom tonight so feel free to comment with yours :)  I do want to thank Gigi (my mom) for coming to stay with the kids this afternoon, Jennifer for picking them both up from school and Miss Dawn for keeping Mckinley last week.  Knowing that they were so well cared for made it easy for me to focus on Charlotte.  I am also grateful to my old OB, Dr. Lungren and her nurses/office staff, who graciously took me into their office this morning without an appointment to talk me through a few things, offer some hugs and a much needed prescription.  And last but not least I am thankful to Jared.  Although we handle our grief and stress in very different ways...think Mars and Venus ;)  I know I am not alone on this journey and that means everything.

Oh and one more VERY important item.  If you ever end up at Harris Methodist make sure and stop by the popcorn guy.  Yummy! Best $1 I have spent in a while :)